Historic Anti-Trump Demonstrations In Santa Fe And the World

Participants in the Women’s March On Washington in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Less than twenty four hours after President Donald Trump was sworn in, historic and massive protests took place around the world to denounce his policies and divisive rhetoric.

Santa Fe, New Mexico, was but one of hundreds of sister cities participating in the Women’s March On Washington, and just like in those other cities,  anti-Trump protesters marched in support of a broad range of political and human rights issues.

The many and creative signs that protesters carried spoke to their concerns, from immigration, to women’s rights as well as support for LGBTQ and Native rights.

Though the US protests were billed as the Women’s March On Washington, the event attracted many men to join in as well.

protesters with signs
These two women drove from Albuquerque to protest at the state capitol in Santa Fe.

Large protests also took place in Albuquerque, but some ptotesters felt it was important to make the trip to the state’s capitol to make their voices heard. This reporter met two women who made the drive from Albuquerque and they carried signs that read “Get Your Laws Off My Body” and “Rights Take Might”.

In Santa Fe light snow fell as protesters begin the walk from the Bataan Memorial Building through Santa Fe’s Plaza and on to the state capitol, where speakers and poets addressed the crowd. The sun broke out and the wind died down at times to make for a decent January afternoon. For others in the state, Mother Nature was not as kind: KUNM radio reported a group of fifty people in Chama, New Mexico, braved near blizzard conditions Saturday to make their protest.

Though the mood in Santa Fe was festive, the underlying message of the protesters to the new president and the GOP is serious: “Citizens will not sit by idly while the new administration rolls back decades of progress in civil rights and protection of the environment. ”



Trumpcare To Hire Veterinarians And Auto Mechanics To Lower Costs

grease covered mechanic
“Dr. Hank is ready to see you now.” Only top mechanics are on the Trumpcare list of OB/GYN caregivers.

In a preview of what will be replacing Obamacare, Ivanka Trump rolled out the first prototype Trumpcare Wellness Center, in Flint, Michigan.

President Trump praised Ivanka while he was speaking at another anti-intelligence rally.

“I’m really proud of her, she came up with this initial idea of hiring mechanics and vets on her own, and you know how I love to help the vets.”

One of the first (human) patients to be treated at one of the new Trumpcare Centers is Bronco Taylor. Taylor waited with a goat and a couple of guinea pigs to see Trumpcare doctor/veterinarian Tiny Manos for a shoulder injury.

Taylor talked to this reporter about his first visit to a Trumpcare facility.

“Well it was kind of funny, they called my name and were looking for a horse, I had to tell them that Bronco really is my name. The assistant took me to one of the stalls and in a couple of minutes the doctor was right out.”

“I told her about the pain in my shoulder, see I was playing touch football with my boys, and fell right on it. She had me get down on all fours and stomp around a bit and go over my range of motion. Then she gave me some horse tranquilizers and said I could go home.”

When asked to compare his treatment to Obamacare, Taylor admitted that he never signed up because he thought it was too expensive, though he would have certainly qualified for subsidies to help pay for it.

“But look, I was able to walk in and be seen and treated in about 15 minutes, and hey those pills are making me feel way better already… Um, and it only cost $185, so all the way around I would say I’m ahead of Obamacare.”

Other patients were not so impressed with Trumpcare. Ima Steenburgen of Gunnison, Colorado, had not had a health screening in ten years since she was covered under her parents insurance.

“I heard from a friend that it was really inexpensive so I signed up and they sent me to an auto mechanic for a gynecological exam.”

Things only got worse from there according to Steenburgen.

“As soon as I walked in, this guy in greasy overalls grabs my crotch and says to undress and get it up on the rack, I guess he was the doctor. So I’m looking around and there are no robes and there’s no curtains around the lift, I just walked the hell out of there. I’m healthy as far as I know, but what if I really needed to see the doctor? This Trumpcare thing is really horrible, I heard Obamacare was better before they repealed it.”

Trump apologist Kellyanne Conway lambasted the media for the critical coverage when she talked to CNN’s Anderson Cooper.

“The media is seizing on a few bad stories to discredit the Trumpcare plan. What’s important here is we come together as a country with healthcare for all, and we can iron out the kinks as we go, something the democrats were never willing to do with Obamacare.”

To spur enrollment in Trump’s namesake program, instead of fines, those who do not sign up for Trumpcare will be forced to watch hours of the new Apprentice show with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Golden Showers, Orange Complexion: Donald Urine Trouble

Pissgate, as some are calling the US President’s first big scandal, may be the cause of the president’s orange face and skin color, not overuse of spray tan.

As creepy and hilarious as it sounds, the story started when Canadian super spy Jeb Madson assembled a credible dossier of claims by Russians that they are holding blackmail material on the president from a 2013 visit he made to Moscow.

“It’s like liquid sunshine, it’s a beautiful thing…”

The claims are that Trump hired a team of sex workers to help him maintain his “tan” while in Moscow for vacation: apparently the man who loves gold, also loves golden showers.

Trump and his surrogates were quick to pounce on the story claiming that there is no such person as Jeb Madson.

“The idea that there is even a Canadian super spy is ridiculous,” Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway reflexively snarked.

“Our research team can find no record of this person whose name is an anagram for James Bond, the name is obviously made up.”

In response the Canadian Department of Cryptography later released a statement saying Kellyanne Conway’s name is an anagram for Anna Kyle Clowney

Republicans have become very concerned over the story, and as Paul Ryan told the press on Friday, Ryan took the extraordinary step of referring President Trump for an appointment with his own dermatologist.

“These allegations, if true, mean that our President could have one of several severe skin conditions from his tanning process. I want to make sure he can get this cleared up and get on to the business of running our country ASAP.”