Businessman wearing a gas mask

Terrorists Target Trump Tower With Stink Bomb

Donald Trump called the people who unleashed a horrible smell in Trump Tower terrorists, “These people—terrorists probably they’re with ISIS, have attacked me personally because they are afraid of what I’ll do to them once I’m president .”

NYPD declined to call the incident terrorism, their spokesman Rob Lovato said, “Some pranksters gained access to the buildings ventilation system, and poured at least a bucket of Liquid Ass in a utility room where the vapors could get sucked in to the intakes.”

Businessman wearing a gas mask
People at Trump Tower New York were evacuated after a stink bombing, some residents refused to take their gas masks even after NYPD declared the danger over.

The smell was so bad it caused the evacuation of Trump Tower in the middle of the day, with residents and visitor evacuees blocking street traffic. Eventually the smell spread out for blocks prompting thousands of additional calls to 911. Lovato described the incident, “This stuff [Liquid Ass] is stinky but not really toxic, but that said, the concentration of stench that permeated Trump Tower caused a lot of vomiting and headaches. One person heaved so violently that they were actually hospitalized with muscle and eye injuries.”

Google searches for Liquid Ass, as well as sales of the malodorous concoction, spiked through the roof Tuesday night after the prank. People have described the smell as intensely Matthew McConaughey like, or like the nastiest dirtiest shittiest ass ever.

Though residents were given the OK to return, few could stomach the still lingering odor and most went elsewhere for the night.

The immigrants rights group LUAT, Latinos United Against Trump, claimed credit for the stink bombing, yet Trump vowed to punish ISIS for the incident when he is President.

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