Trump Shared Nuclear Codes With Russians

A spokesperson said the president did not reveal classified information when he told the Russians Ivanka Trump’s measurements

Showing that he can give and take when dealing with other world leaders, President Trump revealed the nations nuclear launch codes to the Russian ambassador while bragging about the US’s nuclear capability.

A concerned person who was in the room when the meeting occurred, confirmed with Pentagon officials that the launch code was the president’s birthday, which by the time of this writing, has surely been changed.

The person who leaked the report also said that President Trump gave a brief history of the codes to the Russians.

“He said, ‘Well first I had the code set to Obama’s birthday, but because nothing on his birth certificate is real anyway, I couldn’t remember it. Then I had them change it to my birthday, and with Kim Jong Un, you never know, so I like a code I can remember real easy and quick. I might use Ivanka’s measurements next time I change the codes.'”

Trump defended his sharing of the information with the Russians in an early morning tweet.

“The point I was making with the Russians is that they don’t know what our codes could be, but it won’t be something stupid like 1-2-3-4-5 like in that movie Spaceballs.”

To counter widespread skepticism of candidate Trump ahead of last years elections, GOP Senate and House leaders promised to spank Donald Trump if he misused his access to the nations nuclear weapons. So far Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan have been silent on Trump’s treasonous sharing of the classified information with the Russians.

Predictably, frenzied Democrats called for an independent investigation into Trump’s relationship with the truth and a review of White House security protocols.

Security expert Monty Carp said such simple pass codes are easily cracked, and that the president needs to use much more secure passwords.

“When you get in to using birthdays or a woman’s measurements for pass codes, you really narrow down the search for hackers to just a few thousand or even just a few hundred possibilities. That kind of low-level brute force cracking can be calculated in a few microseconds by a third grader on an average computer, so you know the Russians and any other US adversaries can breach Trump’s Ronald McFondled pass codes to our nuclear infrastructure if they want to.”

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Xrhonda Speaks

Xrhonda Speaks

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